Underwater Photography "My Great Zen"

I used to have a lot of baggage. I carried it around from year to year and always had a chip on my shoulder because of it. It started with a dope addict for a father that was never around, who I recently pulled the life support plug on. And a hippy mother who thinks she is a psychic. I played music for 20 plus years and was signed to a major label. Had all the rock star thrills you could imagine. When I was a young boy all I wanted was to be like Jacques Cousteau, a scuba diver. Exploring the sea, answering only to the call of the ocean.

When the music was over, and they turned out the lights I needed something else to distract me from my load of troubles. I took up fly fishing something my grand father gave me many years ago and never understood till lately. This was a great place to start. It took all the thoughts of what I had done wrong with my life, or at least what I thought I had done wrong and dissipated them into a blank space where they became obsolete in my thought process. I would watch the tiny tuft of feathers and fur drift from ripple to ripple on the river and wait in anticipation for the strike. This is a beautiful place to find yourself. Not the person you think you are, but the person you really are.

I am married to a wonderful person who sees me for me. Not me for who I think I am, but me for who I want to be. She loves to travel and we found ourselves in many tropical places. Xcalak is coming in the next couple months to the web site www.fisheyephoto.org On several occasions we would scuba dive. They never let us go very deep and always in places the beginners would kick the bottom and not hurt anything. The reef is a living creature and many countries understand now this is a viable money maker so they tend to keep the beginners out. We live in the Puget Sound region of Washington State USA. Diving here is cold and dark not like the warm waters were first dove together. She took like a mermaid to the water as if she had fins and gills. I love her for everything she is. She gave this back to me after so many years of forgetting how much I loved scuba diving.

The water is cleansing, almost as if it has the power to purify the soul. It is peaceful and thrilling with all the wonder of inner space. Somewhere in all this, I discovered standing knee deep casting a fly upon the water. Being 100 feet deep, taking pictures to come back and show acquaintances. I have managed to lose the heavy load I have carried for so many years. The dream of my youth is now my reality. I have left my thoughts of what I was and I have truly found in underwater photography my great Zen.

» left by Anonymous

5 years 213 days ago.

John, I am so proud of you and the MAN you are becoming. It is an important tool in life to learn to let go of that baggage and open our hearts and our eyes. And what a wonderful blessing to find someone to share all of this with. Keep dreaming! The LA

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» left by Randy Harris

from TX 3 years 193 days ago.

We need a new Cousteau for the next generation and I think we can do it!  I know people are brought together in life.  I am glad I am getting the opportunity to know you and I can't wait to go diving with you in September. 

Randy

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» left by Terry Cosgrave

from Boca Raton FL 3 years 188 days ago.

John, well after reading about you. we have got to meet. I will be coming to get on the boat in september when you are getting off. i will be there for the last week. bummer. any way for me to tell you all would take at least a full day as i am sure you would need the same. Just a few things that you shared hit some buttons that i feel only the people who made it this far with out dieing can here. i here that in you. i to have had some, well lets say some Demeans to deal with and demean free for about 7yrs. I know have been blessed with a life way beyond my wildest dreams. any way, i have found under water photography to be my pation as well and have "not pun in tended " dove way into it and am trying to suround myself with thoughs that share the joy as well as being able to learn from them. becoming teachable is on of the gifts i have picked up and boy i wish i picked it up a long time ago. but the chip and anger would not allow any of that to happen.. well to say the least. i find traviling the world finding cool places to dive and take photo is what i love to do. joining you at some time would sure be a good thing for both. any way just reaching out. some time i think of all the people i did not reach out to and man i am sure i missed some good Peeps. i will look for you coming off the boat and intrados my self. good Diving. Terry cosgrave

 

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» left by Anonymous 3 years 188 days ago.

Terry,

Thanks for the comment:)

Learning and loving are god. I am not a religious person but I am spiritual.

Follow to your heart it won't mislead you.

It is so very true about having that gut feeling that "I need to do this it's important right now" "I have to talk/listen to that person" "I SHOULD TAKE THIS ROAD THIS TIME AND NOT GO THE USUAL WAY" "what is their story and who are they and why are they as they seem". 

The other day my son and I were coming back home from my dive shop and there was a mid 20 year old girl who was cring sitting in the grass on the side of the road. I thought to myself that she really needs someone to talk to at that moment. Normally, I would just have drove by and chalked it up to another lost soul in the human race, but for some reason that gut feeling took over and we went completely out of our way to pull into the parking lot across the street from her and see if she was okay. We got out of the truck and walked over and sat down next to her. I said "My son and I were driving by and he said (mind you he's only 9 months and says nothing but a couple of hand signs) "that girl looks like she needs a hug today:)" She had tears running down her face and it was as hard for me to see her cring as it was for her to be seen. Anyway she had a story as we all do and we sat there with her for the next 15 minutes or so. 

I told her we all crash at sometime and not to let it get to her take a deep breath and to be strong and all would work itself out. Right now it seems worse that it will in a couple days and in a couple of months it won't even be a thought let alone painful. She seemed to get it, that there was someone out here that actually gave a crap about her, even if it was a complete stranger.

We left her sitting there, with dried tracks of tears and her sad face was not smiling but looking like it had some kind of relief as we walked away.

I guess what I'm saying is, that we all are moving along in life and we need to listen to our gut feelings. Sometimes we don't just need to slow down we need to come to a complete stop!

I had to come to a complete stop and catch my breath.  Then I found my happy place and it takes my breath away every time.

Johnny 

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» left by Bryan Bratsch

from Sumner,Wa. 2 years 276 days ago.

John,

 

Great to hear everything is going good in yours&Tia's life. I'd really like to see you if possible. I miss our fishing trips or just hanging out. Things are going well for Lois and myself. I'm really happy that you've come such along way, and finally have some peace in your life. Say hello to Tia, and take care.

 

Your friend,

 

Bryan Bratsch

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